English Jokes to Unwind and Recharge Your Mood

Sharing jokes with friends and loved ones is a fantastic way to unwind and bring some joy to your day. A good joke has the power to turn a dull moment into a burst of laughter, creating a sense of connection and light-heartedness among friends and family. English jokes can dissolve tension and brighten even the gloomiest of days. Your quick fix for instant cheer! A humorous escape from everyday worries. There's nothing better than seeing smiles light up faces all around you.

Male Criteria For Life Partner: “They Expect Their Women To Look Like Miss Universe & Work Like Massi”
And Females Criteria For Life Partner: “They Expect Their Men To Look Like Mr Universe, Earn Like Bill Gates & Obey Like Ramu Kaka“

If every girls looks at you & smiles then do not think you are looking very cute or Handsome.
You Should Check Whether You Have Closed Your Pant Zip or Not.

Dear Monsoon, Please Don’t Be So Romantic.
We Do Not Have Sexy Girlfriends Who Will Wear Chiffon Sarees And Dance In The Rains.
We Only Have Wives Who Will Make Us Run Out To The Terrace And Bring In Clothes Hung Out For Drying.
– All Married Men
The Female Version Of Monsoon Message
Dear Monsoon.....
Please Don’t Be So Romantic.
We Do Not Have Cool Boyfriends Who Will Take Us On A Romantic Ride.
We Already Have Husbands Who Will Ask Us To Go In The Kitchen And Prepare Chai And Pakode.
– All Wives | Monsoon special jokes 2021

Angry Boss :- Why Are You Late for Office Today?
Employee :- Sir My Bmw Didn't Come Today.
Boss(Shocking) :- You Come to Office on a Bmw ?
Employee :- No Sir.!
Bmw Matlb Bartan Maajne Wali..!

Question: “Why Do Indian Married Women Have That Red Dot On Their Forehead?” Answer: “Because They’re Recording Everything“

20 Hilarious jokes that will make you Laugh Out Loud - Jokes That Can Make Absolutely Anyone Laugh

Listning to Wife Is Like Reading Terms and Condition of Website.
you understand nothing, still you say ..."I Agree....!"

A Very Serious Fight Was Going on Between Husband and Wife..
Husband Said(in Anger):-"I Resign From the Post Your Husband.."
Wife :- "Ok but, You'll Have to Stay Till I Don't Get Any Other good and handsome employee for same."

English Jokes For Students That Take You Back to the Golden School Days

75 year old man asked his wife.
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can’t drive it.

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : "A cow and a bull is grazing in the field"
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.

Two prisoners were waiting to be executed. "Any last requests?" asked the jailer.
"Yes", replied one of the prisoners.
"I love music; so before I die, could you play me something by Himesh Reshamiya"
And the second prisoner said, "Please kill me first."

A Man and His Family Doctor Accidentally Meets in the Market.
Doctor : “how Is Your Headache Now?”
Patient : “ohh, She(Wife) Is Out of Town.”

Boy: My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me And Sent Me Pics Of Her With Her New Boyfriend.
Friend: Really Bad, What Did You Do? Boy: I Sent Those Pics To Her Dad.

Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whiskey ? This is called....Solid...Positive Thinking....

A Successful Man Is Who Makes More Money Than His Wife Can Spend..!
A Successful Woman Is One Who Can Find Such a Man..!!

Wife to Husband : In my dream you were buying a diamond ring for me !
.
.
Husband : yeah I saw your dad was paying for it.

KID :- Why some of ur hair are
white dad ?
DAD : - Every time a son make his dad
unhappy , one of his father's hair turns white..!
KID :- Now understand why
grandpa's hairs are all white.

Wife :- I Hate That Beggar.!
Husband :- Why??
Wife :- Yesterday I Gave Him a Food Today He Gave Me a Book.."How to Cook!"

English Jokes For Friends

Boy :- Our Principal is very arrogant and stupid.
Girl :- Don't you Know Who I Am ?
Boy :- No
Girl :- I'm The Principal's Daughter.
Boy :- Do You Know Who I'am ?
Girl :- No
Boy :- Good He Walk Away...

Women startswith "W" Because all Q start with "W"
Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Which?
Whom?
Where?
Wife..?

A Man Lost his Wife In Tsunami
One Drunk-Night ..
while standing on the Seashore, waves touching
on his feets .
He shouted to the Sea: 'No matter how many timesyour Waves Touch my Feet
.
.
.
I'll Never take her back .. !!
Its your mistake..
Deal With It Now...

If your wife laughs at your funny jokes It means you either have a good jokes or a goodwife!

Boyfriend- Hi sweetie ! I Was missing you so much I called you
Girlfriend: Oh. What about the big fight we had 30 mins ago?
You are not angry?
Boyfriend: Oh Sh!t ! I dialed
my Ex-Girlfriend Phone Number again.

2 Things Are Extremely Difficult
1. To Plant Ur Idea In Someone’s Head
2. To Plant Someone’s Money In Ur Own Pocket
The One Who Succeeds In Both Is Called Wife

A successful marriage is based On give & take: Wherehusband gives money, Gifts, dresses n wife takes it
& Where wife gives advice's, lectures, Tensions & husband takes it..!

Wife : I Wish I Was A Newspaper,so I'd Be In Your Hands All Day..!
Husband : I too Wish You Were A Newspaper So I Could Have A New One Everyday ..!

English Jokes For Teachers

Teacher: Which One Is Closer, Sun Or Africa?
Johnny: Sun Teacher: Why?
Johnny: We Can See The Sun All The Time, But Can’t See Africa.

Math Teacher : How Can You Distribute 8 Apples Among 6 People Equally..?? Student : "By Making Juice"

Wife;- Before Our Marriage You TookMe To So Many Places
Like Good Restaurants , Cinema , Resorts, & So Many Other Places Too.
But After Marriage You Never TookMe To Visit Even One Single Place.
Why ? Husband:- My Dear Wife Have YouEver Seen Campaigning After Election ???

( Interviewer ) If The Earth Rotates 30 Times Faster ,
What Will Happen ? ( Candidate ) We Will Get Our Salary Everyday

A Husband and wife applied for divorce. Judge: You have 3 children,
how will you dividethem equally. Husband thinks for a moment and tells
Wife: Dear, let's move home, we will apply for divorce after 9 months.

Always listen to your wife. She gives Sound Advice. 99% Sound, 1% Advice.

Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya,
3 to Sonia and 2 to Neha then what will u get??? Kid: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

Wife: Howmuch do you love me? Husband: Very much dear. Wife: Howmuch?
Tell me. Husband: So muc hthat you can't even imagine. Wife: Pleasetell me exact.
Husband: So muchthat I want to marry one more girl like you.

Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will turn it into Japan.
Laloo: Giveme Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar.

Teacher : “Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?”
Pappu:“Sir… My mother and father got married on the same day and sametime.”

Timeless English Jokes for Nostalgic School Days

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Husband: I want divorce. My wifehasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Thinkabout it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Santa: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phonesince 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”. Man inside: “i am talking to my wife”

Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter howloud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ ofher Husband… “Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the life…

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