Santa- kal meri shaadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme problem kya hai?
Santa- pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nhi

Santa: mera beta raat bhar book ke saamne hi baita rahta hai.
Banta: lekin phir bhi woh Exam fail kyu huaa?
Santa: wah book 'Facebook' tha, isliye

Teacher- Gupt Vansh ka 5 shasak(KING) ka Naam batoo?
Santa- Sir, jo hi vansh hi gupt hai uske shasak naam kaya hoga?

Santa apna Mobile(smartphone) leke Renown Dentist ke pass gaya tha. kyu?
kyunki use check karna tha ke uske mobile(smartphone) mein bluetooth hai ki nahi.

In Andhi tufano ne bhi had kar di,
Aaaj kal ki wo kachra patti me,
pade rahne wali....
-
Wo plastic ki thailiyan bhi khudko
Shaktimaan-SuperMan Samaj rahi hai....

Doctor: aap dariye mat. main hoo na.
Patient: wahi mera sabse bada dar hai doctor.

Santa: agar Bijli nahi hota to kya hota?
Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta

Driver: Sir, Car ka Poora petrol khatam ho gayi hai. ab aage nahi bad sakte.
Santa: Koi baat nahi, Car reverse(back Gear) lo aur ghar vaapas chalo.

2 bachche aapas mein baaten kar rahe the.
1 bachcha: mere daada jee 50 laakh chhod kar mare the.
2 bachcha: isamen kaun see badi baat hai mere daada jee
saari duniya chhod kar mare the.

|| jokes santa banta || jokes on santa banta ||
|| santa banta joke hindi || santa banta jokes hindi ||
|| santa banta short jokes || santa banta hindi jokes ||
santa banta sms || santa banta funny sms ||
santa banta chutkule in hindi
|| santa banta comedy sms in hindi

Madam: oxygen is important for all living creatures because
It is important for our cells to survive. It was discovered in 1773.
Santa: baap re bach gaya!! agar usse pehle paida hota to main mar jaata.

Saadi me
2 Plate Panir chilli
3 Plate kashmiri pulaw
2 plate Meat
1 Plate chicken chili
10-12 Gulab Jamun
tusne ke baad ladka ghar aakar
"Mummy, pet me dard ho raha hai"
Mammy- Najar lag gayi lagta hai...

Santa - apne wife ko doctor ke pass le gaya
Doctor- kaya huwa?
Santa- Doctor meri wife 16 GB ka memory card
Nigal gayi hai tabhi se gane ga rahi hai...
Doctor- Koi baat nahi saab tik ho jayega.
Santa -Mai to ye soch kar paresan hu ki
video folder par Pahuchegi to kaya hoga?

Jija jee ko jiju kahne wali
ladkiya hi bharat me huwe
aadhe se jayada Taalak ki
jimedaar hoti hai
Jiju aa gaye, Jiju
hamare liye kaya laye
Jiju aap bahut smart lag rahe ho

India me Train itni late aati hain
ke patari par aatmahatya
karane vaala bhi
chips ke packet aur paani ki bottel lekar aata hai ...

Boss: tumhe MS office pata hai?
Santa: agar address denge to main doond looonga sir

Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
santa: problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo

Saali: Where do you see MANGOES?
Jija: Mango tree? Saali:No
Jija: Fruit shop? Saali:No
Jija: Maaza? Saali:No
Jija: Frooti? Saali:No
Jija: ?
Saali:Jaha beautiful woman goes
Piche MAN GOES.

Santa: tumhaari wife kyu hamesha gussa rahti hai?
Banta: maine galti se use bola tha ki "tum gusse main bhi bahut khoob lagti ho

Santa got invitation from Blue Whale Challenge
Banta - What Challenge you finished for Blue Whale
Santa- Exiting from Blue Whale coz exiting from
this Game is also a Big Challenge (*;;*)

Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha "KAMINE" film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi "BLUE" film dekhoge.

If higher taxes on cigarette are meant to discourage smoking,
wouldn't Income Taxes discourage working?

Ladke Wale: Ji Ladki Toh Humein Pasand Hai.
Bas Ek Aakhiri Sawal Hai Ki Ladki Ne Kabhi Baba Ram Rahim Se Aashirwad Toh Nahi Liya Na?

The one and only Love Charger has been unplugged for the next 10 years!

Santa fed up with new boss.
One day he told boss to play "Blue Whale Challenge", is an Internet "game".
Boss played and Finished....
Now Santa enjoying office life- Dating Boss's gorgeous Secretary.

Banta: Who is better, wife or sister?
Santa's heart touching answer: Wife's sister!

Raat ke 2 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya - Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

Happu Singh calls on customer care.
Happu: Hello(+_+)
Executive: Ji Main Aarti Bol Rahi Hun.
Happu: Aarti Baad Mein Sunana Pehle, Meri Problem Toh resolve Kar Do!
Executive: Sir mai appka call Puja ko forward kar rahi hu
Happu: Gussa mai call disconnnect kar diya aur bola oye Madam...
Puja to mai hargij nahi karuga....

Yadi "Facebook" bhaarat mein bana hota to
usaka naam Jan Dhan Nihshulk Gapshap Yojana hota.

Jaanleva Killer purpose-
Santa to Gf-I Love You...agar 1 baap ki beti hai to haa bolegi
GF-ladki ne santa ko gale laga liya.

Jyotishi ne kaha, "Seth jee sirph 20
rupaye mein aapke man ki baat bataunga."
Seth jee ne javaab diya, "Mahaaraaj jee 200 rupaye lo,
Bas Modi ke man ki baaten bata do."

Madam: tumhaara homework kyu tumhaare Papa ke handwriting main hai?
Santa : maine unka pen use kiyaa thaa madam....

Madam: bachcho(kids), agar man(Heart) se praarthanaa(Prayer) kare to bhagwan(GOD) aapki kwaaish(Wishes) poora karenge.
Santa : woh sab jhoot hai sir.
Madam : kyu?
Santa : agar woh sach hota to, ab tak aap doosre school chale jaate

nahaane ke lie bathroom ki taraph badha hi tha...
.
ki ZeeNews par
.
Sardi se 5 logon kee maut
ki khabar sunakar.
.
vaapas kapade pahan lie

Ek hi geet me puri umar dikhiye
Naino mein sapna, (umar 5 se 15)
sapno mein sajna (umar 15 se 25)
Sajna pe dil aa gaya, (umar 25 se 35)
kyun sajna pe dil aa gaya…(umar 35 se 40)
Baki puri umar- Ta thaiya ta thaiya ho o…
Ta thaiya ta thaiya ho o…

Interviewer - Aapko,
Kitne Saalo Ka Experience Hai.????
.
.
.
Santa - Sir,
Maine Kabhi Saalo Ko Try Nahi Kiya,
Lekin Mujhe 3 Saaliyo Ka Experience Hai.

Santa Ko Beta Hua.
Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish:Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega
Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa (Police station ja kar bola): - mujhe
phone par dhamaki mil rahi hai.
-
-
-
Inspector: kaun de raha hai?
-
-
-
Santa - BSNL vaale. kahate hain, Bill nahin bhara to "kaat" denge.

santa aur banta k bich mai fight ho rahi thi
banta:- saale mai tere kapde phaad k tujhe naanga kar doonga
santa:- dekh serious ladai mai romantic baat mat kar

SANTA:Lalaji dettol soap hai,
Lala:ha,
santa:acha vala hai,
Lala:ha,
Santa: achi quality ka hai,
Lala:ha bhai ha,
Santa: thik hai hath dhokr 1kg aata do..

Teacher Santa Se: Dahi Ka English Bataao....?
.
.
Santa: Milk Sleeping In The Night
And Savere Savere Tight.....!!!

Teacher: 2+3=5 aur 5+2=7, ab tum bataao 70+5=? kitna hua?
Santa: Kya sir? aasaan sawaalo ka jaavaab aap de diye aur mushkil savaal mujhse kar rahe ho

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta: nhi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen ke kha lena.

Santa Ko Beta Hua. Use Jyotish Ke Pass Le Gaye
Jyotish:Ye Jiska Naam Pehle Bolega Wo mar Jyega
Baccha Bola "PAPA" Aur Dusre Din Padosi Mar Gya

Shikhak- Itane din se kahaan the?
Santa- Sir, Bird FLU ho gaya tha.
Shikhak- par ye to bird mein hota hai insaanon mein nahi.
Santa- Insaan samajha hi kahaan aapane ...
Roj to Murga bana dete ho.....santa bird flu jokes

Santa 1 ghar ke niche su-su kar raha tha..
upar se 1 aurat boli: dikhta nahi hai diwar hai..
Santa bola: thoda side se dekho.. dikh jayega.

Jaj: Suna hai pichale 10 saal se tmne apni biwi ko dara dhamka k rakha hai.
Santa : Par Janab
Jaj : Safai ki jarurat nahi bas itna batao ye tumne kiya kaise

Ek baar santa ko koi 8th floor par bulata hai. Jb vo vaha jata hai to flat ke samne likha rehta hai "Santa April Fool" to
Santa likhta hai "Mai to yahan pr aya hi nhi tha.'

Santa: Sharab pite pite rone laga
Banta: Kya hua kyo ro rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ki kara jis ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha tha,uska naam yaad nhi aa raha hai

Santa is searching a job and this time he is very serious - no jokes or comedy plz...
Interviewer: Why should we hire you?
Santa: Because I have passion.
Interviewer: Show me.
Santa: Sir, Chalo Bahar, Parking Mein Khadi Hai!

santa: yaar aaj mainne bas ke peechhe daud ke 15 rupaye bacha lie.
banta: kya yaar tum to bahut moorkh ho, agar taiksee ke peechhe bhaagate to 150 bacha lete.

santa 2 doctor-apne kaha tha ki subah khelne se sehat thik rehti hai pr muje to koi fark nai pada?
doctor-konsa game khelteho?
santa-mobile mai snake wala

santa=mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya
banta=fir kya kiya?
santa=maine kaha google pe search karlo, mil jaye to download kr lena.

Banta Cigratte pe 2 metre pipe laga kr pe raha tha.
Santa : Tu pipe laga kar cig Q pe raha hai
Banta : Doctor ne kaha, Cig-Bidi se dur rehna.

Madam: duniya ke sabse puraana(Old) praani(creature) kaunsi hai?
Santa: Zebra hai sir
Teacher: kaise:
Santa: kyunki, woh black and white hai na...

Santa: Sabji Lene Gaya,
Sabji Wala Sabji Per Pani Chidak Raha Tha,
Santa Intezar Karta Raha, Jab Kafi Der Ho Gayi To Bola,
"Agar Inhe Hosh Aa Gaya Ho To Ek Kilo Tol Do"

Pappu: What is GST?
Happu: Earlier you had many 'Girl Friends, Friends, Half Girlfriends' like 'VAT/Service Tax/Excise' etc.
Now only One - 'Wife' who remember everything, report everything you do, report every detail in time! //GST interesting jokes

Santa pe bijli ka taar gir gaya.
Santa tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha ki use yaad aya ki bijli to 2 din se band hai....

santa;mujhe us ladki se bachao
banta:kyo?
santa:jabse maine kaha dil cheer k dekh tera hi naam hoga sali chaku leke piche pad gyi hai

Banta: Why we do 'Haldi' ceremony before Marriage?
Santa: The Haldi Ceremony for the groom is actually a refined form of marination
of the chicken before it is sent for roasting!

Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nhi pata

Santa: Koi Achha Sa 2 BHK Dikha Do.
Broker: Sir, Ready To Move Chalega?
Santa: Arey Nahin bhai, Koi Pakka Sa, Immovable Type Dikhao Yaar!

1 Ladki ki shaadi se 3 din pahle uski
saheli ne poochha: shaadi ki saari
Taiyaariyaan kar li kya?
Ladki: Haan donon sim naale mein phenk diya,
Mobile Phone to Format kar diya hai,
Laptop mai Private Folder Delete Kar diya
Facebook, Whatsapp bhi Deactivate kar diya hai,
bas too apana munh band rakhiyo.
girls marriage preparation interesting jokes

is jokes ka koi tod naheen-
Parikshaapatr(Exam) ka ek prashn(Question):
kisne kisse kaha ? "aapse milkar Aanand hua !"
.
.
.
.
Uttar(Answer): Aanand kee Maa ne, Aanand ke pita se...!
pepar chek karne vaala abhi bhi koma mein hai....

aaj kal ki Modern ladkiya samsung ke Mobile jaisi ho gayi hai . . chhoti chhoti baat par Hang ho jaati hai

5 saal ka Kida: I Love You Mummy.
Maa: I love you too Beta.
16 saal ka ladaka: I Love You Mummy.
Maa: Sorry beta, paise nahin hain!
25 saal ka ladka: I Love You Mom.
Maa: kaun hai vo chudail ? kahaan rahati hai?
35 saal ka aadami: I Love You Mummy.
maan: beta mainne pahale hi bola tha, us ladki se shaadi mat karana!
aur sabase badhiya..
55 saal ka aadami: I Love You Mummy.
maan: beta, main kisi bhi kaagaz par "Sign nahin karoongi"

Teacher- main jo savaal karoon usaka uttar phataaphat dena. Teacher- bhaarat ki raajadhaani ka kya naam hai? Santa- "phataaphat"

mithoo Santa se: papa 5+5 kitne hotey hai?
Santa: Ullu duffer,gadhe, idiot,nalayak,
stupid Besharam;tujhe kuch nahi ata,
Ja andar se calculator la.

Shopkeeper: This sweater's made of pure virgin wool sir.
Santa: You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me, will it keep me warm?

Santa sent a sms to banta-
@ۤ+;@=~%
>?!?C%"'%#€
¤>?(:@
A%;!{
Banta- what's this.
Santa- spicy sms yar kha k dekh mast h

Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mai hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha!
Jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Sardar: Mai to uthta hi subha 9 baje hu!

Santa Interview dene gaya...
Boss-tum kitne bhai-bahan ho?
Santa-5
Boss-unme se tumhara no kon sa hai
Santa- Airtel

New Boss-employee jokes-
Employee-Hello Boss mughe terrorist ne pakad liya hai
dono hath kaat diye, 1 aakh phor de, kidney nikal liya
Boss-dekh le ho sake to aa ja yaar aaj Audit hai....

Very funny girlfriend boyfriend jokes 2019-
Girlfriend- Mat karo kisi baat ke liye ettna jor
nahi to boyfriend bana lungi koi aur dungi tumko chor...
Boyfriend- Sweety mene tere credit card par le liya 25,00000 loan
Tu maat jana mughe chhorkar tere siva mera hai koon
Boyfriend rocked Girlfriend shocked...

Santa ne Achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha?
.
Sabar se kam lo beta, Mai Doctor nhi, "YAMRAJ" hun.

Teacher: Who Is Terrorist..?
.
Santa: Terrorist Is A Tourist
Who Comes From Other Country,
To Celebrate Diwali In Our Country..!

Police To Santa: Jail Me Kaise Aana Hua?
Sir: Media Wali Ladki Ki Wajah Se
Police: Wo Kaise?
Uski T-shirt Pe Likha Tha "Press"
Maine Daba Diya!!

Santa: Meri Biwi Mujhe Chhod Ke
Chali Gayi..
Banta: Tu Uska Khayal Nahi Rakhta
Hoga.?
.
.
Santa: Arre Yaar,
Sagi Behan Ki Tarah Rakhta Tha..!

Santa: is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?
Santa: replies "Saali train late aati hai to socha kahi bhook se na mar jau..

Humor is not only fun but healthy too! Heart attack is shown to be less likely to happen for people who have an active sense of humor or who laugh much. Huge collection of funny stuff & fully sayings- Santa banta jokes, santa banta jokes in punjabi, short, new, latest santabanta jokes.

Santa ne Banta ke kan me aisa kya kaha jo sunke banta mar gaya.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dhishkiyaon. ° ¬

banta- tm ladki dekh aye?
santa- haan raang mai kali hai, kaan se kaam sunti hai.
banta- jara english mai kaho?
santa- English me bole to blackberry..

santa- doctor 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhar tha..
banta- to ab kya hua?
santa- yaha se gujar raha tha to socha puch lu apne nahane ko mana kiya tha ab naha lu?

Santa: apni GF ko sms bhej rahe the,
Banta: Me tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
Santa: nahi
Banta: kyu?
Santa: usne handwriting pehchan li to..? ...santa banta short jokes

Teacher Santa Se: Ye Line Ki English Banao,
Usne Apna Kaam Kiya Or Karta Hi Gaya.
Santa: He Done His Work And Done Dana Dan Done Dana Dan.........santa banta short jokes

Santa : Our New Neighbour Is An
"Aam Aadmi Party" Member
Banta : How Do U Know That..?
.
Santa : Today Morning When I
Waved My Hand To Her,
She Showed Me The "Broom"..!

SANTA at Microsoft for an Interview..
Interviewer : Which are the four
Version of Java .?
Santa : (1)Mar-Java,
(2)Mit-Java,
(3)Lut-Java,
(4)Me Sadke-Java..
Interviewer : Aata tum Ghar-Java......santa banta computer jokes

Santa: Maine Apne Bete KaNaam America Rakha Hai.
Banta: Wo Kyun yaar?
Santa: Main Duniya KoBatana Chahta Hun Ke
Main America Ka Baap Hun...!

Pappu apane paapa ki wedding ki video dekhate hue bola:
"mujhe bhi aapki shaadi ki tarah apani shaadi mein items girls nachwaani hain."
Santa: haraamakhor, yah teri Bua aur Mausiyaan hain..........jabardast jokes

Bank Manager- ye kaya azeeb signature hai?
“@/e”
Santa - ye signature meri Dadi ka hai
Bank Manager- Unka kaya naam hai?
Santa-Jlabi baai...“@/e”

Santa aur Banta 10 mein 10 baar fail ho gae
Santa: chal yaar khudkhushi kar lete hain
Banta: saale, paagal ho gaya hai??
agale janam mein phir narsari se shuru karana padega!!!

Doctor Santa Jokes-
Doctor: GOOD Health ke lie rojaana Exercise kiya karo
santa: jee main rojaana Cricket aur Football khelata hoon!
Doctor- Very Good...
Doctor: kitni der khelate ho?
Santa: jab tak Mobile ki Battery khatm nahin ho jaati!!

Banta: yaar ye raamadev baaba waala aata noodles kharida hai,
inako khaana kaise hai ?
Santa: ek naak band karake doosari naak se andar khinchana hain...baba ramdev jokes sms

Rajanikaant aur santa ek competition mein..
pahala savaal:
8 ka aadha kya hota hai?
Rajanikaant: 4
santa: Depend karata hai.
agar horizontally aadha karo to 0
aur vairtichally karo to 3
Rajanikaant haar gaya
bada aaya Rajanikaant !!very funny competition jokes of santa Rajanikaant

jagajeet sinh ga rahe the:
ye daulat bhee le lo,
ye shauharat bhile lo...
santa utha:
main to bahut pareshaan hoon,
meri to aurat bhee le lo.

Banta: What exactly is First Aid?
Santa: It is when you get AIDS for the first time!

Teacher: listen student exams r coming soon so if u have any doubt or question u can ask me..!
Santa: In which printing press d question paper is printed ?

Police 2 santa: sab kuch bata warna chaddi utar ke peetunga. santa banta funny jokes
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: lo ji chori maine ki hai aap q chaddi utaroge.

Santa Ka Sir Phat Gya.
Doctor: Ye kaise Hua?
Santa: Main Chappal Se Keel Thok Raha Tha.
Mujhe 1 Admi Bola -
Gadhe Kabhi KHOPDI Ka Bhi Istemal Kar Liya Kar.......santa banta jokes 2017

Banta: Bro, I just left my job, I could not work for that Boss after what he said to me.
Santa: What happened, what did he say?
Banta: You Lazy duffer man....You are fired!

Pappu- Doctor ke paas gaya.
Doctor: kaun sa Blood Group hai aapka?
Pappu- Aazaad Parinde, hum jadataar Time Facebook-Whatsapp par rahte.
Doctor: are blood group poochh raha hoon Facebook-Whatsapp ki aulaad......Facebook Whatsapp papu jokes 2018

Madam: Porus kaun tha?
Santa: pata nahi sir.
Madam: padaai ke taraf dyaan do, pataa chalegaa
Santa: Aap battayiye. Rohan kaun hai?
Madam: pata nahi.
Santa: apni beti ki taraf dyaan dijiye, pata chalega.

Vaise to main bahut bada khataron ka khilaadi hoon,
par December mein paani jaise khatare se main bhi nahin khel sakata.

Wife: suno jee, aapane kaam vaali bai ko "I LOVE YOU" bol diya kya?
Husband: nahin to, kyon kya hua? Wife: kal tak mujhe bhaabhi bulaati thi, aaj didi bula rahi hai.

kuchh ladke apane shaadi/Wedding mein aisi CARTOON TYPE sheravaani pahan lete hain
ki Dulha kam aur Ajanta Circus ke jaadugar zyaada lagate hain....wedding shaadi jokes

Today's Jokes on social sites:
Women all over the world 3.15 billion
Women over Facebook 5.67 billion!

Laalu Yaadav 1 Form bhar rahe the, jo English mein tha!
General(saamaany) cheejen to bhar liya,
par One Column par atak gae!
Likha tha- Your Zodiac sign!
Laalu ne bagal mein Nitish kumar ke Form par chori se
jhaank kar dekha. Nitesh ne likha tha Scorpio,
So Laalu ne apane mein likha-Innova!
Idhar aur Majedaar..
Maayaavati bhi vahi Form bhar rahi thi!
use bhi "Zodiac sign" ka arth
(meaning) nahin maaloom tha,
so bagal mein Soniya ke Form mein jhaank kar dekha ...!
Soniya ne us kaalam mein bhara 'Cancer'
Maayaavati kuchh der sochati rahi phir usane kaalam
mein likha ....halki khaasi!
Laalu Yaada Maayaavati Soniya breaking news political jokes

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