Santa- kaal mujhe pata laga ki mere sharir mai bilkul bhi iron nhi hai.
Banta-apko kaise pata chala? santa- maine mangnet laga k dekha tha chipka hi nhi.

#Jokes sms Santa Banta in Hindi#

Banta(bhagta hua aata hai)- jaldi jao,apk ghar mai talab ka pani ghus aya hai..
Santa- jhuth kyu bol rahe ho ghar ki chabhi to mere pass hai..

banta- govt hospital k doctor aur marij mai kya fark hai?
santa- doctor nurse pr aur marij farsh pr marta hai...

santa- mai nalayak ko bhi layak bana sakta hu..
banta- wo kaise?
santa- nalayak se na hata k...

banta- week mai ek baar meri patni se mera jhagda jarur hota hai. aur apka?
santa- mera mahine baad hota hai, kyuki mujhe salary mahine baad milti hai..

banta- ladkiya shrab se itna nafrat kyu krti hai?
santa-kyuki shrab pine k baad unk chuhe jaise
pati shero jaisa bartao krne lagte hai...

santa banta tang sidhiyo mai ek dusare k samne aad gaye..
banta- mai murkh k liye rasta nhi chodta.
santa- (piche hokr)lakin mai chod deta hu...

banta- tm agle birth mai kya banana chahte chahte ho?
santa- cockroach.. banta- wo kyu? santa- kyuki meri patni sirf cockroach se darti hai...

Banta- kya apne mera naya natak dekha hai, jo maine jhagdalu pati-patni k bare mai likha hai?
santa- maine abhi tak natak to nhi dekha pr maine apko aur apki patni ko ushki rehearsal krte dekha hai...

santa- tmhari apni patni k sath kaise nibh rahi hai? banta- badi achi nibh rahi hai,
subah jo wo chahti hai wo krti hai, shaam ko jo wo chahti mai krta hu...

#Jokes sms Santa Banta in Hindi#

santa-cycle ki break lekar dance kr raha tha. banta-ap kya kr rahe ho?
santa- dekh nhi rahe mai break dance kr raha hu....

banta- suna hai aap apni patni k sath bartan dhote hai?
santa- to kya hua, woh bhi to mere sath rotiya pakati hai....

Santa-Bhaiya aaj somose acche nahi bane hai
Kal wale acche the
Samosa waala- kaya baat kar rahe ho?
ye smose kal wale to hai bhaiya....

banta- kya khana khane se pehle aap bhagwan ko yaad krte hai?
santa- nhi, mujhe aisa krna nhi padeta kyuki meri patni acha khana anti hai...

banta-tmhari dukan pr mithaeya rakhi hai, tmhara ishko khane ka dil nhi karta?
santa- krta to bahut hai pr papa marenge ishliye chat kr rakh deta hu...

banta-bahut si ladkiya itni murkh hoti hai ki unhe shaddi k liye pucho to na kr deti hai.
santa- apko kaise pata? banta-mai kaye ladkiyo se puch chuka hu...

santa- shrab pite pite rone laga..
banta- kya hua ap ro kyu rahe ho?
santa- jish ladki ko bhulane k liye pi raha hu ushka naam mujhe yaad nhi aa raha..

banta- pichli diwali ko hmne raat ko lakhsmi k liye darwaje khol kr rakhe the pr chor aa gaya.
santa- ho sakta hai chor apne ghar k darwaje k sath khidkiya bhi khol kr aya ho ishliye tmhare ghar ki lakhsmi unk yaha chali gayi...

# Top 30 Santa Banta Chutkule hindi #

santa - aaj maine ek jaan bachye... banta- wo kaise? santa- maine ek bhikari ko puch 1000 ka note du to kya karoge? ushne kaha khusi se maar jaunga, to maine use note nhi diya aur use bacha liya...

santa- agr hm apne diet ka khyal rakhe to hm 85yrs tak jinda reh sakte hai. banta- pr 85yrs tak jinda kaun rehna chahta hai? santa- jo 84yrs ka ho gaya ho...

banta- aj meri premika ka janm din hai,use kya gift du? santa- dekhne mai kaise hai? banta- mast hai. santa- to mera number de dena..

santa- akalmand admi kabhi ye dawa nhi krta ki yahi akhri sach hai, sirf murkh log hi aisa yakin krte hai.. banta- kya ap ye baat dawa se keh sakte hai? santa- yakinan(sure)..

santa- shaddi k baad yuvraj singh thik khelne lagega.. banta- kyu? santa- phir wah khelte hue ladkiyo ko nhi ball ko dekha karega na..

santa- meri factory mai aag lag gayi thi, bima cmpny ne mujhe 20 lkh rs diye.. banta- mere godam mai baadh aa gayi thi, bima cmpny ne mujhe 50lkh rs diye.. santa- pr aap apne godam mai baadh lekar kaise aye?

#Jokes sms Santa Banta in Hindi#

doctor santa- chalo chalo bed k niche chalo.. marji banta- doctor sahab ek baat bataeye ki ap bed k niche kyu elaj karte hai? doctor santa- doctor banane se pehle mai motor mechanic tha...

banta- barish bahut tej hai, tufan bhi chal raha hai. ap ghar jane ka vichar chod dijiye yahi so jaeye.. santa- ap kehte ho to mai yahi so jata hu, pr mai ghar se apna nightsuit to le aau..

banta- shrab k peg ko jo pair se bhi chuta hai wo nark mai jata hai.. santa- jo itni pavitra chij ko pair se chuega to nark mai hi na jayega...

banta- mujhe apne beta ka letter samjhne k liye ek dictionary rakhni padti hai. santa- ap bade khushnasib hai mujhe apne beta ka letter padhte tym sath mai check book rakhni padti hai..

chahe sabke achchhe din aaa jaye, par golgappe aur rikshe wale ke kabhi achchhe din nahi aayenge.
ve ladkiyon ke bhaiya the ,bhaiya hi rahenge.

bechara aadmi:jab sir pe baal na aaye to dawai dhundhta hai,
jab aa jate hai to naai dhundhta hai,
jab safed ho jaate hai to daie dhundhta hai.

Pappu 1 baar wedding party me gaya...
waha usne dbaa dbaa ke 20 butter nan kha liye
thori der ke baad pet me dard huwa...
bhagkar toilet me gya
pet pakadkar kar bola-
bahut dard ho raha hai
Hey bhagwan ya to jaan nikaal de ya naan nikal de...........Santa Banta Chutkule hindi

Santa moving around in market with parrot on shoulder,
Someone asks: 'Kidhar se liya ye cute parrot..
Paagalkhane se laya hu sale ko..!!
Replies the Parrot..!!

Airtel Girl to Santa-kaya aap ke Mobile 4G hai?
Santa- Mere Mobile me 6G hai
Girl-Impossible!!
Santa- U ka hai hamra mobile me double sim hai aur dono me 3G+3G hai
to ho gaya na madam 6G

Santa ne Dhaba khola. Customer- mere chaay men makkhee doob kar mare pade hai. Santa to kyaa karoon? Main Dhaba chalaoon yaa inhe tairanaa sikhaaoon.

Banta Shaadi men dulhan ko ghoonghat men kyon rakhaa
jataa hai? Pappu taaki kisee ke munh se ye naa nikal jaaye ki... Abe ye to meree wali hai.

Teacher-'saali aadhee gharvaalee' is muhavare kaa arth bataao?
Pappu- vo skeem jo doolhe ko bataai jaati hai lekin dee naheen jaatee.

Teacher- pappu ek kahaani sunaao, Shiksaa ke saath. Pappu maine apni Girlfriend ko phone kiya vo so rahee the fir usane mujhe Phone kiyaa main so rahaa tha. Shiksa jaise karane vaise bharane