Cute lines to impress girlfriend

Top 50 best and funniest Jokes
Jokes in English
best jokes of all time
short jokes
very funny jokes
hilarious jokes
best jokes ever
very funny jokes in hindi
actually funny jokes
seriously funny jokes
corny jokes to tell your friends
Whatsapp jokes
Hilarious Memes

25 Hilarious Jokes

Banta driving on the highway read a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 5 Kms."
after reaching there he had cleaned 4 toilets and said highway officer your staff does not complete their own duty.

Traffic Police Caught Him... Santa: Sir, I am learning driving. Police: without teacher? Santa: Ya, Its Correspondence Course!

Why was Santa writing the paper near the door? Because it was an entrace exam.

Teacher to Student: Last Semester you were roaming with that girl and this semester, you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself? Boy: Syllabus changed Sir.

After a big accident, a man was crying: O God! I have lost my left hand? Santa: Control yourself my friend. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

God: I Can’t Be Everywhere, So, I Created Mother. Evil: I Too Can’t Be Everywhere, So, I Created Mother-In-Law!

Dress code for a party - RED TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening! how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"
I said, "Sure."
She said, "Great, when?"
I said, "Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl."
'-'jokes for friends for whatsapp'-'

Santa asked to Banta - If the whole world is a stage, where is the audience is sitting?
Genius Banta searching answering in Wikipedia from six months.

The lawyer asked the beautiful girl: Where were you last night?
Girl: I went to the restaurant with my neighbor.
The lawyer asked another question: and last night?
Girl: with another neighbor of mine.
The lawyer asked softly: And what is your program today?
The second lawyer shouted: objection me lord!
I have already asked this question!!

A lady broke the traffic signal. Traffic Police: Stop...!! Lady: Please...let me go...I am a teacher.
Police(student of same teacher): I have waited for this moment all my life. Now...say...I'll never break a signal, 25 times...

Son- "Papa, I fell in love & want to date a gorgeous girl!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Mia, the neighbor's daughter".
Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Mia is actually your sister."
The youngster is disappointed, but a couple of months later
Son : "Papa, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sophia, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father : "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Sophia is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so upset, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son : "Mum I am so mad at Papa ! I fell in love with five girls but I can't date any of them because Papa is their father!"
The mother says:
"Dear son, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father.

A very wealthy businessman walks into a bank in Los Angeles City and asks for the loan officer.
He says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $1,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan; so, he hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s manager and its officers all laughing at the businessman for using a $450,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a $1,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $1,000 and the interest.
The bank’s manager says, ‘Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but, we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $1,000?’
The businessman replies, ‘The airport wanted to charge me 400 dollars to store my car. Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks and expect it to be there when I return?’

Santa was enjoying sun on a beach in Goa. He is very weak in English (He is so bad at English).
A lady was passing him and asked him, "Are you relaxing"
Santa answered' " No I am Santa"
Few minutes later another Guy Came and asked the same question.
The person answered "No.. No... Santa here"
Third one came and asked the same question?
Santa was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While he was walking he saw another person was enjoying the Beach. He went and asked
him " Are you Relaxing?" The other person answered, "Yes I am relaxing”.
Then Santa angrily said “Idiot everyone is looking for you. You are here!!!!

A lawyer, a doctor, a little boy and a priest were all out on a small plane for an afternoon flight when the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the pilot's best efforts, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot yelled out to his passengers that they'd better jump, grabbed a parachute and bailed out.
Unfortunately, that left only three remaining parachutes. Grabbing one, the doctor said, "I am a doctor and I save lives, so I must live," and he jumped.
The lawyer then grabbed a parachute and said, "I am the smartest man in the world. I definitely deserve to live." Then he jumped.
Looking at the young boy, the priest said, "Son, I have been fortunate to have lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
Handing the parachute back to the priest, the little boy said, "Don't worry, Father. The smartest man(lawyer) in the world just jumped out with my backpack!"

Two thieves broke into a bank.
Thief one: What are you doing?
Thief two: Iam counting the money before putting them in our bag.
Thief one: Don't worry. The exact amount will be published in the newspaper tomorrow.

Santa: I tried your number so many times; it always said 'subscriber you are calling switched off their mobile!'
Banta: No, it is my Ring tone!

Best and funniest definition you ever read -
Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in
such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.
Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you
are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
-
Experience: The name men give to their
mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling
"from Eiffel Tower says in midway,""See Iam not injured yet."""
Pessimist: A person who says that 'O' is
"the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY."
-
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
Doctor: "A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills."
Consciousness: The time between naps.
Accountant: Someone you hire to explain
that you didn't make the money you did.

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?

Santa stayed in queue for 20 minute in a shop. Security officers came and informed her that the three in front are not people but statues.

Funniest jokes on strike ever.
When a milkmen goes on strike, they throw the milk on the road...
When a farmer goed on strike, they throw vegetables on the road...
Don't know when the bankers will get their wisdom!!!

Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.

Museum Administrator: That's a 300 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Married men don't have a Lifestyle...They live in Wifestyle!

CID: Why criminals leave their fingerprints after crime?
Santa: Sir, they are uneducated. If they are educated, they would leave their signature.
jokes for friends for whatsapp

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: why are you removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!

Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What's he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him.

Film Director Santa to actor: You have to jump to a swimming pool-from 200 ft.
Actor: But I don't know swimming.
Santa: Dear don't fear coz there is no water.
Funniest jokes that never get old.

Q - What do dentists call their x-rays? A - Tooth pics!

Santa: Should I buy tickets for my children?
Conductor: Yes! Only if they are above 8!
Santa: Thank God, I have only 7 children!!

Banta Built two swimming pools.
and he left one of them unfilled why?
When asked him, he said,
“Oye, that’s for those who don’t know swimming.”
Short jokes that make you laugh.

Student - Teacher! Would you punish me for something I did not do
Teacher- No
Student - Today I did not do my homework.

Funniest jokes of the 21st (twenty-first) century "Computer and mobile were invented to save our time".

A girl gives a kiss to a baby but left her lipstick spot.
Girl: Oops I am sorry..
Kid: It is ok.. if there are strain while doing something.. strains are good!

Employee : Boss, you called me?
Boss : Yes, go to home and make love with your wife.
Employee : (After an hour) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.
Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don't have
stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my daughter at home.

Teacher: What happens when carbon monoxide reacts with 2 molecules of iron? Student: COFFEE!! Teacher: How? Student: CO + 2Fe = COFFEE!! Short jokes.

Seeing Titu's result, his father put his thumb on the card.
Titu: Papa, you are educated, then why are you putting your thumb?
Papa: So that after seeing your result, the teacher does not know that your father is educated!

There are 3 forms of a girl:
No. 1: The one who loves you with eyes closed - known as Girlfriend
No. 2: The one who loves you til her eyes closed - known as Mother
No. 3: The one who loves you with her big eyes staring at you - know as Wife.

Difference between talent and God gift:
A man can give lecture for 2 hours on many subjects. This is talent
A woman can give lecture for 2 hour without any subject - this is a God gift!

Do you know? Which is the best day to propose a girl? April 1, you know why? If she accepts it's your luck otherwise just tell April fool, April fool.

Beggar Gets USD 5 from girl on red light.
Her shouts: this is not fair..
Girl: Why?
Beggar: One last red light, you donated USD 20
Mada,m: How did you know?
Beggar: While showing his apple phone, see he shouted in group on whatsapp!

After robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk: Did you see me robbing? Clerk: Yes, I saw you. Robber killed him and asked to the next clerk: Did you? Second Clerk: No, but my wife saw you!

Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything? Santa: You can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.

Hilarious jokes about patient and doctor
Pappu went to a doctor to get a solution of loose motions. Doctor: tell me, what's your problem?
Pappu: Suffering from unlimited free outgoing with different ringtones.

One boy on his way to home with his mom after school, Saw a couple kissing on the road, He suddenly shouted and said look mom, They are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

You will be hanged at evening the judge told to YouTuber.
Do you have any last wish?
YouTuber : Please like and subscribe my YouTube channel and press Bell icon.

Madam: Who Is Terrorist? Santa: Terrorist Is A Tourist, Who Comes From Another Country to Celebrate Diwali In Our Country.

My friend believes he is the wisest person and that only an onion can make him cry. So I simply hurled a stone in his face to make him realise he was mistaken.

Sound travels slower than light. This is why, until you hear them talk, some people appear bright.

A boy got rejected and girl got selected in an interview for same reason. Hilarious jokes.
Think? they both had the first two buttons of their shirts open in front of the HR Manager !

Q- Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
A- It lifts their spirits.

Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs 10 and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin colleague asked: What happened dear? She replied: He asked me are you free tonight? I said: Yes, and bastard give me 101 pages of work.

A man lost on no-man's-land Island. One day he decided to build a wood boat to save his life. Suddenly a hot girl came there and the man use the wood for making bed. Moral - A girl can change your goal.

Heated gold becomes ornaments, beaten copper become wires, compressed rocks become diamonds and mentally tortured men become 'Best Husbands'

Relationship status and singer, Before relationship, Honey Singh! When in relationship: Arjit Singh! After breakup: Jagjit Singh.

On a romantic day titu’s GF asks him, 'Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring? 'Titu: from landline or mobile.

Q: Why did titu take his pregnant wife tiya to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised 'Free Delivery'

Why are wives 'more' dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life... The wives want both!

Wife: whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don’t know what to do?
Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them!

Guest came to miser's house
"Will you take cold or hot"
Guest - get both.
"Papu's mother, bring two glasses of water"
one from a freezer
And
one from a geyser

Park me kuch ladke ladki to Ched rahe the kaphi der tak mene dekha koi bhi
log uski help ke liye nahi aa rahe hai mene socha kaya jamana aa gaya hai
koi kisi ki help nahi karta hai phir me paas ja ke dekha wo kamine Youtube prank video
apni girlfriend ke saath bana rahe hai.

When somebody who is deeply in Love with you tells that You are cute, beautiful, & angelic, talented I agree. That’s true, Believe me, I swear because love is definitely blind.

Height of Surprise: 'A boy after spending great time with GF, Saw a guy's photo in her bag Asked – Is he your X BF? GF kissed him said no dear that’s me before surgery!

Two elephants meet a totally nakd man. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

Father: You Should Marry This Girl, She Is Kalavati, Gunwanti And Roopmati. Son: I'll Have to Marry Me Girlfriend, Because She's Garbhavati!

When I am bored. No one Whatsapp me or share jokes, When I am busy I suddenly become the most popular person on earth.

Husband: I want divorce my wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. Lawyer: Consider about it once again. Wife’s like that are hard to get.

Wife: Angrily, I wish I was your newspaper, so I would be in your hands in morning and all day. Husband: I also wish that you were my newspaper, so every day I could have a new one.

Son: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why is that? Son: Our teacher doesn't know anything! He keeps asking us for the answer.

Pappu went for job interview. HR Manager: Will you be able to work under pressure. Pappu: I'm married Sir and I have also girlfriend. HR Manager: Congratulations! You're selected.

If plan "A" didn't work. The alphabet has 25 more letters! Stay cool.

Puns to brighten your day.
To be a good professional, always start to study late for exams. Because it teaches how to manage time and tackle emergencies!!

Boss: So, tell me young man, on what all occasion have you realized that you have importance in company and company cannot function without you? Employee: Sir, whenever I asked for a leave....

Teacher: Why you late, Johnny? Kid Johnny: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What do a sign have to do with your being late? Student: School ahead, Go slow.

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Santa: By staying at home.

World's shortest joke...two women were sitting quietly in a park...

Santa was withdrawing money from SBI ATM. Banta behind him laugh...ha ha ha ha.. I've seen your password. Its 4 asterisks. Santa laugh, ha ha ha ha...You are wrong. Its 1315.

Sonu was busy in removing a wheel from auto (3 wheeler), Monu asks: Why are you removing a wheel from your auto?
Sonu: Can't you read 'parking for two wheelers only'.

Once Teacher asked Pappu, what is the full form of MATHS? Pappu: Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students.

Wife checks husband's mobile and friends all girl's numbers saved like. New bird, Neighbour bird, Old Bird, Upstairs bird, Downstairs bird, College Bird, Supermarket bird, finally she checks her name and it was saved as "Angry Bird".

Marwadi calls newspaper office to print death news of his grandpa. Clerk: Rs.200/word. Marwadi: Grandpa Dead. Clerk: Sorry sir, Minimum 5 words. Marwadi:"Grandpa Dead, Wheelchair for sale".

Interviewer: Do you have any experience in a leadership role? Me: Well, I am the admin for a WhatsApp group.

Husband was shocked to read wife's old school report card the comment written...."Very obedient and soft-spoken student".

Diwali is the only time when your parents don't look at you suspiciously, when a match box falls from your pocket.

When I drink alcohol, everyone calls me alcoholic...But When I drink Fanta no one says I am fantastic.

Police - We have to search your house
We have informed by your neighbors- there is explosive material in your house.
Santa - The news is confirmed, but now she has gone to her maternal home.

Height of innocence. A man reaches hospital with a fractured leg. There he finds another man with both his legs fractured. Expressing deep empathy, he asks him do you have two wives....

Boy - May I hold your hands?
Girl - No thanks, it is not heavy

Appu, while filling up a form........
Father - What should I write against mother tongue?
Father - Very long.

Teacher - If I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him what virtue I am showing?
Student - Brotherly love.

Teacher - What do you call a person who keeps on speaking when people are no longer interested?
Student - A teacher.

School student jokes

Life's Philosophy:
At the start of any relationship, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Every girl has the impression that her boyfriend is GOD.
Eventually, the Alphabets are reversed.

Breaking news jokes.
In the United States, a man witnesses a dog attacking a young girl.
He kicks the dog, and the dog dies as a result.
"Local Hero Saves Girl From Dog," according to the press.
"I Am Not American," a man declares.
"Foreign Hero Saves Girl From Dog" has been added to the report.
"Actually, I am Pakistani," says the man.
"A Terrorist Killed An Innocent Dog Who Was Playing With A Girl," according to breaking news.

"I'm sorry to inform you that you have a brain tumour," the doctor says.
Santa (Jumps In Joy): “Yes”
"Did You Understand What I Just Told You?" says the doctor.
"Of Course, Do You Think I'm Dumb?" Santa says.
"Then why are you so happy?" says the doctor.
"Because that proves that I have a brain," Santa says.

Beauty is not judged by your clothes or your appearance.
It is judged by your inner beauty.
So...
Always Wear...
Designer Undergarments.

A wife asked her husband : What do you like most in me darling, my cute face or my beautiful and silky body?
Husband looked her from head to toe and replied : I like your sense of humour.

At the SBI bank, an old lady asked Santa to help check her balance. So Santa pushed her over.

पुलिस - हमें आपके घर की तलाशी लेनी है
सुना है आपके घर में विस्फोटक सामग्री है
संता - खबर तो पक्की है, पर अभी वो मायके गई है

दूध वाले हड़ताल करते हैं तो दूध सड़क पर फेंक देते हैं...
टमाटर वाले हड़ताल करते हैं तो टमाटर सड़क पर फेंक देते हैं...
न जाने बैंक वालों को कब अक्ल आयेगी!!!

अच्छा हुआ हमारे स्कूल टाइम में स्मार्टफोन नही थे,
नही तो इधर मास्टरजी कूटते, उधर वीडियो वायरल।

Santa जब भी कपडे धोने लगता तब बारिश हो जाती
एक दिन धूप निकल आयी तो Santa भागा-भागा सर्फ लेने गया
रास्ते में ही बादल गर्जने लगे, ठंडी ठंडी हवा चलने लगी
Santa आसमान को देखकर बोला- मैं तो कुरकुरे और चिप्स लेने जा रहा था

Ek Darubaaz doctor ke paas gaya
Darubaaz – Doctor साहब, क्या आप मेरी Daru छुड़वा सकते हो?
Doctor - hai
Darubaaz (खुश होकर) – तो एक काम करो, पुलिस ने मेरी 25 बोतल पकड़ी है , उसे छोड़वा दो ना |

बिना ‌हैलमैट के ‌सङक पर निकल आया।थोङी दूर जाते ही एक पुलिस ‌वाले ने‌ पकङ लिया।लगा चालान काटने।बहुत‌ खुशामद करने ‌पर‌ 100 रुपये में मामला‌ सुल्टा। फिर मुझे ध्यान आया‌ आगे‌ भी‌ तो चौराहे हैं।कहीं और पकड़ा गया तब सिपाही जी से ‌पूछा तो बोले‌‌ कि आगे‌ कोई रोके तो बोल‌ देना पिछले चौराहे पर जूस पिला‌‌ दिया है आगे दो तीन चौराहों‌ पर रोका गया हर बार बोला पीछे चौराहे पर जूस पिला दिया है।हर जगह छोड़ दिया गया। इत्तफाक से तीन चार दिन‌ बाद‌ फिर बिना ‌हेल्मेट के‌ निकल गया।सोचा फार्मूला तो मालूम ही है।चल जाएगा।जैसे ‌ही पहले चौराहे ‌पर पुलिस ने गाड़ी रोकी‌ मैनै ठाठ से कहा---पीछे चौराहे पर जूस‌ पिला दिया है। पुलिस वाला‌ जोर से हंसा। पकड़े गये, आज का कोड लस्सी है।

एक YouTuber को फांसी
दी जा रही थी..
जज : तुम्हारी कोई आखिरी इच्छा..?
YouTuber : मेरे चैनल को सब्सक्राइब
करे और Bell आइकन को जरूर दबाए।

पुलिस- पडोसी की वीवी के गुम होने की रिपोर्ट तुम क्यों लिखवा रहे हो?
आदमी- मैं उसकी खुशी बर्दास्त नहीं कर पा रहा
साला रोज पार्टी कर रहा है

ladki patane ke tarike jokes

Santa - Banta se yaar 1 baat beta kaya Star Gogglepahante hai?

Banta - kaya baakvas kar rahe ho star etne bade hote hai wo Goggle kese pahange
Santa - kaya star Mask pahente hai?
Banta- oye star kese mask pahange ettna bada mask nahi ban sakta hai..
Santa - Superstar(Hero-Heroine) goggles aur mask dono pahante hai na batoo....

Banta - Bakvas band kar yaar...

इश्क (love) और इलैक्शन(election)
में जो वादे (promise) होते है,
उसको हवाई फायरिंग कहते हैं |

funny jokes on social distancing for coronavirus

funny jokes to make girlfriend laugh

Comedy Jokes in Hindi

chutkule in hindi

chutkule hindi

whatsapp cricket jokes for cricket Fans

अब ये कौन अपवाह फैला रहा है की
मरने के बाद मरने वाले के मोबाइल
को तब तक Format न किया जाए
जब तक उसकी आत्मा भटकती रहेगी |

Ab ye kaun afwah faila raha hai ki
Marne ke baad marne waale ke Mobile ko
Tab tak Format na kiya jaaye
Jab tak usaki Aatma bhatakti rahegi

whatsapp jokes in hindi

सर्दियों में पराठे खा कर...
धूप में मगरमच्छ की तरह
पड़े रहने में जो सुख है,
उसे ही असली सुख कहा गया
है।

| jokes for whatsapp | status for whatsapp | whatsapp jokes |

बिग बॉस में जो टास्क घर वालो से करवाये
उसके आधार पर इस शो का नाम तो "गुथमगुथा"
होना चाहिए | साथ ही इसके विजेता को
गुथमगुथा खिलाड़ी no -1 का ख़िताब मिलना
चाहिए |

Best marriage jokes memes ever

Santa ne Banta se poocha Corona Virus male hai ya Female?
Banta- Corona Virus Female hai kyoki eski koi dawa nahi aur ye logo ko bahut paresaan kar rahi hai

1945 Netajee ne kaha tha - tum mughe khoon do mai tumhe Aazaadi dunga
2020 Neta kahte hai - tum hame aazaadi de do hum tumhara khoon chus lenege.

Wo din door nahi hai jab stage par dulhan haate hi baaraatiyo ke muh se niklega - oye ye to Moj wali hai

Whatsapp Jokes

Plumber: Sir, nal theek ho gaya hai. Labour charge 700 rupaye ho gae.
Engineer:: are 1 ghante ke itane phees (Fee) to mere bhi nahin hai.
Plumber: Sir, jab main Engineer tha to meri bhi phees etni nahin thi.

Best jokes that never get old:-
What is the national food of India
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.KASAM
.sab khate hain

I have lots of jokes in my inbox, jokes in in English But I can’t send you all of them, It will take a lot of time, So, I’m sending you best and funniest jokes “You are so beautiful”

Plumber: Sir, the tap is fixed. Labour charge is Rs 700.
Engineer: Hey, I don't even have this fee for 1 hour.
Plumber: Sir, when I was an engineer, I didn't either.whatsapp jokes

Teri DP se nazar nahee hatatee GDP ham kya dekhen.....

टीटू का रिजल्ट देखकर उसके पापा ने कार्ड पर अंगूठा लगा दिया।
टीटू: पापा आप तो पढ़ें लिखे हो, फिर अंगूठा क्यों लगा रहे हो?
पापा: ताकि तेरा रिजल्ट देखकर टीचर को ये न पता चले कि तेरा बाप पढ़ा-लिखा है!

जिनको पेट भरने के.
लिए मेहनत नहीं करनी
पड़ती...
उन्हें पेट कम करने
के लिए उससे भी ज़्यादा
मेहनत करनी पड़ती है।

दो समुदाय के बीच हुआ बड़ा विवाद
तुरंत बड़ी भीड़ जमा हो गई।
कुछ लड़को ने अपने कैमरा चालू कर दिया।
कुछ न्यूज़ रिपोर्टर भी आ गए।
सांता ने गलती से गाना बजा
नफ़रत की लाठी तोड़ो, लालच का खंजर फेंको।
आपस में प्रेम करो देश प्रेमियों।
इस गाने को सुन कर लोग मोटीवेट हो गए।
बड़ा विवाद फ़साद टल गया।
दंगा का लाइव रिपोर्टिंग करने आये
गुस्साए रिपोर्टर ने सांता को बहुत धोया।
Viral breaking news jokes

Bhai mein Vibhishan..
Daai mein Manthara....
Bahan mein Soorpanakha..
aur Girlfriend mein "Riya" ka naam sada amar rahega...

खेल गई थी जो लड़की कभी मेरे ☹ जज्बात से…
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चुरा लाया हूं आज गुलाबजामुन
उसी की बारात से
khel gai thi jo ladaki kabhi mere ☹ jajbaat se… . . .
chura laaya hoon aaj gulaabjaamun usI kI baaraat se

लॉकडाउन में वर्क फ्रॉम बॉस: मैंने तुम्हें फोन किया था
तो तुम्हारी पत्नी ने बताया कि तुम खाना बना रहे हो।
तुमने कॉल बैक क्यों नहीं किया?
पप्पू: सर, मैंने किया था।
आपकी पत्नी ने बताया कि आप बर्तन धो रहे हैं।

वर्क फ्रॉम होम के 3 महीने बाद,
एयर होस्टेस – सर आपको इस फ्लाइट में
घर जैसा माहौल मिलेगा …
यात्री – वो सब तो ठीक है
पर मैं यहाँ झाड़ू पोंछा बिल्कुल नही करूँगा

संता परेशान सा डॉक्टर के पास गया ,
संता – डॉक्टर साहब मैं सुबह 6 बजे सुसु करता हूँ ,
फिर 7 बजे पोट्टी करता हूँ ,
डॉक्टर – हाँ तो फिर दिक्कत क्या हैं ??
संता – पर डॉक्टर , आँख तो 8 बजे खुलती है ना

क्वारंटाइन और वैलेंटाइन दोनों भाई-बहिन है क्वारंटाइन 14 दिन का होता है और वैलेंटाइन 14 फेब को आता है..
Both quarantine and valentine are siblings.
Quarantine is 14 days and valentine arrives on 14 February
QUARANTINE AUR VALENTINE DONO BHAI-BEHAN HAI
QUARANTINE 14 DIN KA HOTA HAI AUR VALENTINE 14 FEB KO AATA HAI.. ..

हमें तो अपनों ने लूटा
गैरों में कहां दम था..
चाय तो अच्छी थी.. ☕
बस दूध थोड़ा कम था!

भुल सकते हो तो भूल जाओ
इजाज़त है तुम्हे
ना भुल पाओ तो लौट आना
एक और भुल की
इजाज़त है तुम्हे

147 cute line to say to impress your girlfriend

आज सुबह से कोई 77 हिचकी आ चुकी हैं...
ज़ालिम...याद कर लो, लेकिन रट्टा तो ना लगाओ..

coronaviruses ka bhayanak asar Girlfriend ne boyfriend se gale milne se kiya enkaar.

1 Employee boss ke chutti nahi de ne se tha bahut pareshan... phir usne
boss ko bola Boss - Mujhe sardi, khasi, sir dard, badan dard hai
Boss ne bina kuch pooche 1 mahine ki chutti de di...

coronavirus jokes chutkule

funny shaadi prank girl can not tolerate anythings

Girl uploads selfie on WhatsApp without make up; WhatsApp friends fail to recognize her.

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. -Tony Robbins

A fit, healthy body-that is the best fashion statement - Jess C. Scott

whatsapp jokes movies name in bhojpuri

1 aurat ke 14 bachche the!
1 roj usaka chhota beta dhool, mitti, kichad se
is kadar lithada hua ghar aaya ki,
vo bigad kar boli kamine tujhe dhone-ponchhane se to,
naya paida kar lena jyaada aasaan hai!
whatsapp jokes

Mumbai local train mein roz haath oopar karake khada hota tha Yuvak, 2 saal mein 4 inch badh gai height.
uske parents aur sab se jada uski Girlfriend Bahut Khush hai.

Boyfriend to Girlfriend- 7up Nimbooz Masala peene k baad
- pyaar bhare andaaj me Jaanu kuch krne ko dil chah rha hy.. GF: (sharmaty hUe) krlo G
Bf: ) ' ( / ) ).poooon _/ / GF: Kamine Doooooor haatt...

Yumraj 2 college ke ladke ko narak le gaye.
1 ladke ne Yumraj ki ladki ko dekhte hi kaha
Yaar mast item hai, chal ese patate hai

Santa ka Internet HOTSPOT baar baar colony ke ladke hike kar rahe the
Santa jese internet chalu karta bahut sare ladke uska wifi internet use karne lag jate
en sab se paresaan hokar 1 din Santa ne apne HOTSPOT ka naam rakh diya- "Le Bhikhari Le"

Life is not all about feeling good.
Life is about being good at feeling.
-Professor Jon Jureindini

Quotes of The Day-
Laugh and love with all your might.
Kiss and HuG and snuggle tight.
Let go of sadness and regret.
Say "I Love You" every chance you get.

shaadi jokes

Madam asked-Who Invented English Vowels - A.E.I.O.U ?
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Genius student Santa: Tusshar Kapoor In Golmaal Returns.....

kabaadi ki aawaaz se 10 baje se pahale jaag gaya der raat tak Whatsapp
karne vaala Paadhaku Student, donon pakshon mein bavaal.....

Aakho me jadu hamare
Baato me Moti hai
Sakira ke takiye ke niche
Hamari Photo hoti hai.........attitude msgs

Aise na mujhe tum dekho...GST laga doonga.
Paise bhi chura lunga Tumase.., Tax bhi laga doonga..
Geetkaar: – Arun jetali
Sangeetkaar: – Modi Jee

Whatsapp Jokes

Flipkart, Snapdeal, Amazon ki Super Sale(Maha Loot offer) par sasta milane
ki ummeed mein petrol, diesel dhoondhata paaya gaya 1 yuvak

Yamraaj: Eske karmon ka hisaab batao
Chitragupt: achchhe karm hain.
Yamraaj: Swarg bhejo
Chittagupt: Lekin eska Aadhaar Card Link nahin hua.
Yamraaj: Narak mein bhejo saale ko

Modi sarkaar ka sabse khaas baat yah hai ki Sarkaar se
koi kuch maang nahin raha hai, jiske paas jo tha, vahi bachane me lagaa hai

Indian Movies:
1974 - ROTI
1982 - ANGOOR
1982 - NAMKEEN
2005 - CHOCOLATE
2006 - SANDWICH
2009 - ALOO CHAT
2012 - BARFI
2013 - The Lunchbox
2017 - TOILET
Very chronic constipation # Ziddi kabj KITNE Saal Lag Gaye Pet Saaf Hone Mein!

Nzar h kb unse bat hogi, khuda jane kb ye ittefak hogi,
yu to har sham milte h khwabo me, jane kb ru ba ru unse mulakat hogi.

Nafz Dekha To Bimar Likh Diya
Rog Dekha To Pyar Likh Diya
Shukr Guzar Hai Hum Uss Hakim Ke
Jisne Dawa Ki Jagah Unka Didar Likh Diya

latest good morning sms | latest good morning sms in hindi | latest good night sms

Kisi Ne Kya Khub Kaha Hai...
"Kisi Se Judaa Hona Agar itna Aasan Hota...
to Jism Se Rooh ko lene Kabhi Farishte na Aate...!!"

Jab tujhe basaya hai rooh ki gehrayo me.......To ye kaise mumkin hai
ke mai tujhe yaad karu aur teri dharkan tez na ho...

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Jokes on corona virus

कर्फ्यू में भोजन बांटते हुए
उस दानदाता की आँख में
आंसू आ गए...
जब पैकेट लेते हुए
वो शख्स बोला...
भिया,
अगली बार Shikhar गुटका ओर पान बाहर भी लेते आना....
Bahut दुआ लगेगी..

मिथुन - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
कर्क -.आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
सिंह - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
कन्या - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
तुला - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
वृश्चिक - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
धनु - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
मकर - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
कुंभ - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा
मीन - आपका समय परिवार के साथ बीतेगा ।
नोट:- यह राशिफल पुलिस वालों और डॉक्टर के लिए नहीं है।।

corona virus jokes

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hasi ke chutkule