banta- apko thand lagti hai to ap kya krte ho?
santa- mai heater k pas baith jata hu..
banta- agar phir bhi thand lage to?
santa- to heater on kr leta hu..

santa- tujhe apna laptop bada krwana hai?
banta- haan yaar.
santa- to phir ishme window hatwa k darwaja install krwa le..

banta - kya tmhari gaddi sahi halat mai hai.
santa- bilkul! horn ko chod kr baki sari chije shor krti hai.

interviewer- tmne apni pichli job kyu chodi?
santa- kyuki company kahi chod k chali gaye aur mujhe bataya hi nhi...

banta- suna hai budhapa buri bimari hai..
santa- haan yaar! kaal ishe bimari se 6 bache maar gaye..

santa- maine tmhara number kayi bar milaya pr hr bar switch off aa raha tha..
banta- aree ye to mera phone ka hello tune hai...

jito- kya koi aisa tarika hai jishse hotel k staff ko na pata lage ki hmari nayi-2 shadi hue hai..
santa- haan hai, ye dono luggage tm uthao..

santa ne challenge kiya ki wo kutub minar sir pr rakh kr mumbai le jayega..
sare news wale waha pahuch gaye..
tab santa bola- bas koi utha k sir pr rakh de..

banta- dawa aur daru mai kya fark hai?
santa- dawa premika ki tarah hai jo expire date k sath aati hai, daru wife ki tarah hai, jitni purani hogi utni sir chad k bolegi..

banta- tm salary wale din ghar ja kr apni patni ko kitne paise dete ho?
santa- kuch nhi.
banta- ye kaise ho sakta hai?
santa- wo mujhe office k bahar milti hai, aur wahi sare paise le leti hai..

banta- mere kutte se maat daro! tmne wo kahawat nhi suni hai"bhaukne wale kutte kabhi nhi katte"
santa- mai to janta hu, tm jante ho, pr ye kutta nhi janta hai.

santa- doctor sahab, koi lambi umar ka tarika bataeye?
doctor- shaddi kr lo..
santa- kya ishse umar lambi ho jayegi?
doctor- nhi, ye tamanna khatam ho jayegi..

santa- tm itni gulabi kyu lag rahi ho?
prito- apki pyari baato ko sunkar bechain ho jati hu aur wah mere dil ko chukar romantic ban jati hai.aur mai apko hug krne n liye bechain ho jati hu,ishliye mai gulabi ho jati hu..
moral- ladki ko koi sawal na hi pucho to acha hai..

banta- agar tmhari patni tmhe bahar job dhundhne k liye bheje tm kya karoge?
santa- to mai nhi patni khojne lag jaunga..

jeeto- kyu ji? apne bola tha ki bina wajah k nhi piyoge! pr ab kyu pi rahe ho?
santa- diwali aa rahi hai na, rocket chodne k liye bottle to chahiye..

santa- phir wahi tamatar ki sabji?sayad tmhe nhi malum jyada tamatar khane se admi agle janam mai gadha banta hai..
jeeto- ye baat to tmhe pichle janam mai sochni chahiye thi..

santa-kaal mere khwab mai ek ladki aye thi.wah kya ladki thi...
jito- akele aye hogi?
santa- tmhe kaise pata?
jito- ushka pati mere khwabo mai aya tha...

pathan ne apne bache ka naam america rakh liya, logo ne pucha ki wo to apna dusman hai phir bhi apne bache ka naam america rakha liya?
pathan- "hm duniya ko batana chahte hai ki pathan america ka baap hai.."

banta purani album dekh raha tha.
banta- bebe, ye photo mai apk sath smart kaun hai?
bebe- ye tmhara bapu hai.
banta- to hm ish ganje k sath kyu rehte hai?

teacher- jis hisab se apk beta k numbr ata hai use hisab se ek baat to mai yakin se keh sakta hu.
santa- kya?
teacher- wo cheating bilkul nhi krna hai..

bhikari- sahab 20 rs do na coffee pine hai..
santa- lakin coffee to 10rs ki aati hai?
bhikari- meri girlfrnd bhi sath mai hai na.
santa- aree bhikari hok tune gf banaye hai..
bhikari- nhi, gf ne hi mujhe bhikari banaya hai..

santa- tmhari gf ka sms aya hai, ' koi pathar na mare mere diwane ko'.
banta- acha sms mai aur kya likha hai?
santa- 21st centure hai bomb se uda do sale ko..