teacher- ushne sucide kr li aur use sucide krne padi, ishme difrnc batao?
santa- pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusara married tha..

santa aur banta kabristan mai baithe baaten kr rahe the..
santa- dekho ye murde kitne aram se apni kabro mai soye hue hai.
sare murde uthe aur bole- kyu na soye, ye jagah hmne apni jaan de kr hasil ki hai..

nurse- mubarak ho santa ji, ap papa ban gaye.
santa- meri patni ko nhi bolna mai use surprise dunga...

Santa: I am going ka matlab batao.
Banta: Main ja raha hoon
Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.

santa ki patni ka raang kala tha ushne ek din yellow saree pahen kr santa se pucha- mai kaise lag rahi hu?
santa- sadk jawa, jaise koyale ki khan mai aag lag gaye ho..

punjabi badi majedar language hai kyuki..
ek chote se bache ko nanga dek kr santa pe pucha-
"oye aj teri maa ne kacchi ni payi.."

Santa:-Agar "Teri "Bivi Ko "Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kaya Karega?
Banta:-Mujhe "Kaya Karna!
Ye Do "Behno" Ka" Aapsi"Mamla"Hai.

santa- mai teri roj roj ki shopping se tang aa gaya hu, ishliye marne ja raha hu.
jeeto- acha ek safed suit to la do, bhog pr kya pehnungi?

santa- sir ji, aap apni patni ko party mai kyu nhi late?
boss- wo gao ki hai..
santa- maaf krna, mujhe laga wo sirf apki hai..

santa- ro raha tha!
banta- tm kyu ro rahe ho?
santa- meri murgi maar gayi hai..
banta- itna to mai apne baap k marne pe bhi nhi roya tha.
santa- tmhara baap kaunsa andde deta tha..

santa ne padha'bill gates k microsoft ne skype 4.5crore mai kharidi'..
santa- internet se free mai to download hota hai, faltu mai paise diye..

santa- mai shimla ja raha hu.raste mai biwi ko gira dunga.
banta- meri bhi le jao,use bhi gira dena.
santa- agar bura na mane to use wapasi mai gira du?

Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

Santa : Badda dukh hoya si teri wife di mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?
Banta : Goli lagi si matthe vich.
Santa : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai

Ek raat bijli chali gayi,
Sardar: oye kam se kam fan to chalao.
Sardani: kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi.

Delivery ke waqt
Lady- God Ladka
Man- God Ladki
God- Shut Up
Dont Confuse Me
Varna aisa confuse item bana dunga ke
tum dono roage or wo tali bajayegae!

Aurangazeb: Senapati batao ki
hum Shivaji ko kyu nahi dhund pa rahe hain??
Senapati: kyoki Maharaj ham Mugal hai Google Nahi

Bf on call- Hey Swtheart Kya Kr Rahi Ho. . ?
.
.
.
Gf Meri Tabiyat Kharaab H Janu,
Sone Ja Rahi Hu or
Tum . ? .
.
Bf- Me Cinema Hall Me Tere Piche Baitha hu
KAMINI . .

Lazy Boy To Father: papa ek glass paani de do, .
Father: khud uth k pe lo, .
Boy: please de do na……! .
Father: ab manga to thappar
marunga .
.
.
Boy: thappar marne aao to pani lete aana

Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
.
Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
.
Teacher: Kya matlab?
.
Golu: Ji wo
CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai.

Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha.
.
Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Santa - Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau.

Santa: Yar mein bada pareshan hoon
Banta: Kya hua?
Santa: Meri Wife mujhe roz thumbs up pila deti hai
Banta: Ye to achhi bat hai
Santa: Nahin pilane k bad kehti hai chalo aaj kuchh toffani karte hain

Santa KHUDKUSHI par bhashan de rha tha
.
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai
Gunah hai
Pagalpan hai
.
.
Khudkushi karne se behtar to
insan khud ko Goli mar le

Santa - oye item kya haal hai tera?
.
.
.
girl- jo teri behen ka hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
santa- achha matlab ki tu bhi pregnent hai

Exam me teacher ne nakal karne di aur kaha bahar jake
na kehna ki meine nakal karai hai.
Santa : Na jee na hum kahenge sir to bahut kamina tha,
kutte ne seat se hilne bhi nahi diya!