santa ne facebook pr apna a/c banay aur apni wall pr likha- yaha susu krna mana hai..

santa- doctor 2 saal pehle mujhe bukhar tha..
banta- to ab kya hua?
santa- yaha se gujar raha tha to socha puch lu apne nahane ko mana kiya tha ab naha lu?

santa- yaar aaj tak mera itna apman nhi hua.meri naye padosan ne mujhe nahate hue dekh liye..
banta- to tm kya chahte ho?
santa- badla..

:: New Jokes on Santa banta ::

banta- tm ladki dekh aye?
santa- haan raang mai kali hai, kaan se kaam sunti hai.
banta- jara english mai kaho?
santa- English me bole to blackberry..

santa- mujhe tm bahut pasand ho.
ladki- meri chappal ka size pata hai na?
santa- lo kr lo baat dosti abhi hue nhi, farmayeshe suru..

banta- kya biwi se ladai khatam ho gayi?
santa- haan wo ghutne tek kr mere pass aye thi.
bata- ushne ghutne tek kr kya kaha?
santa- yahi ki bed k niche se nikal aao, kuch nhi kahungi..

santa aur banta speed mai scooter se ja rahe the..
traffic police- tm scooter itni speed mai kyu chala rahe ho,agr tmhara accident ho jaye to?
santa- tm hmare fikr maat karo bhagwan hmare sath hai..
traffic police- phir to tripling la chalan katna padega..

santa- yaar mai prblm mai phas gaya hu?
banta- wo kaise?
santa- biwi makeup kare to kharch bardas nhi hota aur na kare to biwi bardas nhi hoti..

banta- hm jo natak karenge ushme darsako ko kalpana krni padegi ki pehla part garden mai dusara part saloon mai.
santa- 3rd part mai hme kalpna krni padegi ki theater mai darsak hai..

banta- mera ghoda abhi to thik chalta hai pr kabhi langda kr..
doctor santa -aaj kaal wo kaise chal raha hai?
banta- langda k.
doctor santa- to meri maano jab wo thik chalne lage to baich dena ..

santa- ki patni maar gayi..
dost ushko chup krane k baad- tujhe kuch chahiye?
santa- jaldi laptop le aao.
dost- kyu?
santa- facebook pe status change kr k single krna hai.

:: New Jokes on Santa banta ::

santa(airhostess se)- apka face meri biwi se milta hai.
air hostess- ne jor se thappad santa k face pe mara.
santa- kamal hai, adat bhi wahi hai..

santa roti ka ek tukda khud kha raha tha aur dusara murgi ko khila raha tha..
bant- ye kya kr rahe ho?
santa- chicken k sath roti kha raha hu navratri chal raha hai na..

banta- ap apni biwi ko hero ka haar dene k bajaye koi car gift mai kyu nhi de dete?
santa- aise car kaha se le kr aaunga jo ho to nakti pr ho bilkul asli jaise?

banta- haar pati k liye patni ka hona jaruri kyu hai?
santa- kyuki wo hr kaam k liye sakar ko dosi nhi thehra sakta..

santa- meri patni ka credit card chori ho gaya hai.
banta- kya apne ishk bare mai bank ko inform kiya?
santa- maine ishki jarurat nhi samjhi kyuki chor ushse utha credit nhi lega jitna meri patni leti hai.

banta- hmare desh mai death rate kya hai?
santa- 100%.
banta- kaise?
santa- jo paida hota hao wo maar hi jata hai..

santa- thnda loge ya garam?
guest- dono le aao..
santa jeeto se- ek glass freezer se aur ek geezer se pani le aao..

santa- doctor mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise koi mere kaan mai gunguna raha hai..
doctor- aisa kab lagta hai?
santa- jab mai kaan mai headphone laga kr gane sunta hu..

santa- apne ush ladki k liye cigaret aur sharab chod di?
banta- haan..
santa- to ushse shaddi kyu nhi ki?
banta- kyuki mai itna sudhar gaya tha ki ushse bhi achi ladki mil gayi..

santa police station aya aur bola - mujhe arrest kr lo, maine apni patni k sirr pr danda mara hai.
police- kya wo maar gayi?
santa- nhi wo bach gaye,ab meri khair nhi..

santa- cricket khel kr aya.
banta- kitna run banaye..
santa- centure hone mai 99 runs baki the aur mai out ho gaya.
banta- aree yaar! so close....