Ladko ko sabse jayada Gussa kab ata hai??
Jab 1 ladka 2 cute sweet Girls ke Bich Baitha ho
tab tisri ladki ke aane ke baad Autowala kahta hai-Bhai tu aage aaja

Jaanleva purpose-
Santa to Gf-I Love You...agar 1 baap ki beti hai to haa bolegi
GF-ladki ne santa ko gale laga liya

Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.

Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
“Beta tum bahut padhoge”
Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
ye bata paas kab hounga???

Latest Sms Jokes

Interviewer: What drives you?
Candidate: The bus mostly.
Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
Candidate: Missing the bus!

New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”

1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
saw a couple kissing on the road…
He suddenly shouted and said look mom
they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

Height of Shame.

At bus stop a girl was standing
with her face covered. A man on bike stops
and says “Chalna hai kya?”
Girl replies : Papa mein hoon.

Aryabhatt bethe bethe budhiman(wise) ladkiya gin rahe the
bas yahe se shuny(Zero) ki khoj hue....

Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge

Girls of 1995– “Agar tum mil jao zamana chor denge hum”
Girls of 2012– “Agra tum mil jao purana chor denge hum!”

Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake,
I am comming to stay with U!

Modern Majnu– Mein tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gai, lut gayi, meri duniya rushwa ho gayi…
Modern Laila– To karmjali, mein kaun sa bank managar ban gaya

Santa found cigarette in daughter’s room “Ohh God! She smokes?”
Then she found wine, “O God! She drinks?” Then he saw boy,
“Thank God@ To ye sab ess boy ka hai”

Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
Salesman : Pata nahi
Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!

Stadium Indian Pakistan cricket match chal raha tha
1 Gorgeous ladki ne hoto par “India” ke tirange
ka
tattoo laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA”

Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!

Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!

Doctor ne udaas hokar kaha- Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai.
I’m so sorry…
Santa: Isme sorry ki koi baat hai Dr. Saab.
Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise…
Aage to moaj masti me jeena hai..Jeevan ras peena.. hai

Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai.....latest jobs salary jokes

Mom: Sofa letne ke liye nahi hota baithne ke liye hota hai
Son: Ha toh Chappal bhi maarne k liye nahi pehen ne ke liye hoti hai..
Ek chappl aur padi..

latest sms jokes -Girl: Papa ek jaruri baat karni thi.
Papa: Bolo beta
Girl: Mai ek ladke se pyaar karti hoon aur woh America mein rehta hai
Papa: Lekin tum is se kaha mili
Girl: Google+ par hamari mulakaat hui
FACEBOOK par hum Friends bane
Gtalk par usne mujhe "I love you" kaha
aur WHATSAPP par humne 3 mahino tak pyaar kiya.
Papa : Ohh!! Really..
Toh ab TWITTER mein shaadi karlo
MAKE MY TRIP se honeymoon mana lo
FLIPKART se bache mangwalo
GMAIL se recieve karlo
Aur finally agar pati pasand nahi aaye toh ..
OLX be bech dalo!!!!!!!
Dont laugh alone, pass it on..

Kaal ek relative ke ghar jaana hai
samgh nahi aa raha hai sweets lekar jau ya payaaj

Seriously First time in Indian History
Latest funny event occoured Friends...
Perrol is cheaper then Onions in India
Petrol Payaaj se sastaa ho gaya...

Majburiya hoti hai sirf mahaan logo ke Jeevan Mein
Nahi to Ram Vanvaas Mein
Krishna karaavaas Mein
aur
Mai office Mein kyo baithta...

Pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa ho jaata hai
girlfriend ne shaadi se enkaar kaar diya
Socha dil diya hai aab jaan bhi denge sanam
pr kamine dosto ne daru pilaa ke usi ke baaraat me
nchwaa diya...

New teacher joined in d school
Teacher- boys tell your names nd hobbies
1st boy- My name is Raj. My hobby is watching Moon .
2nd boy- My name is Ranjeet. And my hobby is watching Moon .
3rd boy- My name is Ravi & hobby is watching Moon .
Teacher- wow nice nice
Everyones hobbies are same Ok
Now girls turn...
1st girl- Hello mam my name is moon
Teacher shocked....Boys rocked

2 cockroach ICU me
Ek dusre ke bagal me bed par jkhmi halat me admit the
Ek ne dusre se poocha- Hit or chappal
Dusre ne jabab diya nahi yaar
Ye ladkiya bhi dekh kaar etti chillati hai..
ki heart attack aa gaya...

Teacher- "I love you" ka aaviskaar kis desh me huwa tha??
Boys- China
Teacher-hw?
Boys-esme saare chinese gun hai
na kaoi gaaranty naa koi warranty
Chale to Chand tak na chale to shaam tak

The world is here at, Sh@rd@ University..
Where r u??
At a better university.

Bus running,
Jhatka laga,
1 ladka 1 ladki pe ja gira
Ladki boli batameez;
Kya kar rahe ho…?
Ladka bola…
University se B.A kar raha hoon. !!

Teacher-A B C D Sunao
Papu- A B C D E F G H I J K L N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher- P M kaha gaya?
Papu- Foreign Tour pe

Mini- kaya kha rahe ho yaar?
Santa- Mungphali kha raha hu
Mini- akle akle?
Santa- oye 10 Mungphali ki me langar lagau kya?

Preeto-tum to padhne me bade hoshiyaar ho to phir Tution ki kaya jrurat hai?
Papu-Maa tum bhi to ghar ka kaam karne me hoshiyaar to phir kaamwali rakhne ki kaya jrurat hai?
Phir kaya...de chappal....de chappal

Teacher- Dunia ke ese 2 prani ka naam bato jis thand nahi lagti hai
Papu- Pahla Penguins aur dusra shaadi aae Ladki-Aurat

Jeeto- Ye kamre ki etni gandi halat kyo bane hai?
Papu- Mai Acting ki Practice karta hu
Jeeto- Kese acting?
Papu- Man vs Wild

Madam- sab bachchon se poochhti hai: batao sabase jyaada baarish kahaan par padtee hai.
Santa: zameen par.

1 baar Pappu train mein safar kar raha tha.
Train mein bahut bheed hone ke karan Pappu ek ganje adami ke seat par baith gaya.
Adami jhunjhala kar bola, "haan-haan, mere sir par aa kar baith ja."
Pappu: nahin Uncle main yaheen theek hoon, wahaan se phisalane ka dar hai!

Teacher Pappu se: tumane homework kyon nahin kiya?
Pappu: sir, kyonki main hostal mein rahata hoon.

Without you I can't breathe, I love you, my dear... .
.
.
.
.
Nose!

While Talking over Whatsapp:
Boy: Hi are you single?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: I have an Audi.
Girl: Ex* boyfriend. Sorry, that was an autocorrect.
Boy: Datsun GO. Sorry, mine was too!

1 ladke Ne Radio Mirchi Pe Call Kiya-
Ladka : Mujhe 1 Purse Mila Hai, Jisme 10,000 Cash, iPhone-7,
1 Credit Card Aur Sonam Ke Naam Ka Id Mila Hai.
Radio RJ: Wah… Aap Kitne Honest Hain.
Kya Aap Unhe Wo Purse Waapis Karna Chahenge.?
Ladka : Nahi!!Nahi!! Main Chahta Hu Ki Sonam Jee Ke Liye,
Ek Dard Bhara Song Ho Jaaye.....very very sad song aur
1 mast fresh sms love jokes suna dijiye

Bigg Boss 10 ki Grand Success ke baad
Bigg Boss Alaan karte hai-
Bigg Boss 11 me bhi shawmi Jee to contestant Rakha jayega..
Afer That Bigg Boss 11 - Received not a single contestant to participate....

ek sundar Beautiful cute Ladki-girl yadi roz subah sair karati hai to 10 ladke nirog rah sakate hain.

Gaon mai bijli aayegi sun kar logo ke saath kutte bhi
khush hue. Bole, "bijli aayegi toh khumba bhi lagega"