Santa: In my dream, I see monkeys playing football every night.
Doctor: Start taking this drug tonight and continue for a week.
Santa: May I begin tomorrow...?
Because tonight is the Grand Finale.

Santa went to a doctor to get a solution of loose motions. Doctor: tell me, what's your problem? Pappu: Suffering from unlimited free outgoing with different ringtones.

His foreign visitor arrived at Santa's house and, upon seeing the tied lemon and green pepper on the door, grinned and inquired, "What is this?"
Santa: This is an anti-virus. Made in India!!

Santa Singh took his pregnant wife to the hospital
and spoke to the nurse;
If it is a boy, then say that tomato is grown..
And if it is a girl, then say onion has grown..!
By coincidence both the boy and the girl got twins.
And the nurse came out in confusion and said…..
Congratulations sir..
""Salad" has occurred..!!

Teacher to Santa: Translate the sentence into English 'Vasant punched me'
Santa: 'Vasant Panchami' ..!

Santa went to give an interview in a IT company, Interviewer: Tell the four versions of Java,
Santa: Mar Jawa, Mit Jawa, Lut Jawa, and Sadke Java.
Interviewer angrily: Well done, now go straight home.

A beautiful Nurse came for interview. Doctor: What salary do you expect? Nurse: Rs 25,000 Doctor was overjoyed and said: My pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure its Rs 50,000

1 Cute ladki ne Pappu ko aawaaz lagai.
O bhai jaan, kirpaya sunie to zara.
Pappu bola: oye! phale phaisala kar "Bhai" ya "Jaan", Confuse kyon kar rahi hai.

Pulse Polio Team Santa ke ghar aai.
Santa to wife : bandooq Or kartoos kahan hai !!??
Pulse Polio Team Bhagi, Pichhe Se santa Ne Awaz
di, Ruko Ooye Ruko 'Ye Humare Bachon K
Naam he !!! '

SANTA ~Apka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai kya khilate ho ise,..?

BANTA ~abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR-WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.

Santa : Yaar uth bhookamp aa rahaa hai..saara ghar hil raha hai.
Banta: Soja-soja ghar girega to makaan maalik ka..hum to kiraayedaar hain..

Teachar: batao pradhanmantri aavaas kahaan hai?
Santa: havai jahaaj mein?

SANTA:maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA:woh kaise?
SANTA:maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya. usne love marriage karliy

Pappu: Teacher main naamumakin ko mumakin bana sakata hoon.
Teacher: Wo kaise?
Pappu: naamumakin se "na" mita kar!

Santa- muje zehar dena
Chemist- pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa-apni shaadi ka card dikhata h.
Chemist- bus kar bhai rulayega kya,badi bottle du ya
chhoti.

Master- 2 me se 2 gye to kitne rhe?
Sardar-samjh me nhi aya masterji.
Mster-Beta tumare pas 2 Roti h,tumne 2 roti khali,tumare pas kya bacha?
Sardar-sabji..!

2 Sardar train k piche bhaag rahe the..
Ek chadh gaya, to train me logo ne kaha"WELL DONE"

Sardar-khak wel done,Jana to use tha,

Mai to chhodne aya tha!!

Santa-What's D Difference Between Mother's & GF's Tears?

Classic Answer By Banta-

Mother's Tears Effect Our HEART & GF's Tears Effect Our POCKET...

Train me Warning likhi thi.....
.
Bina Ticket safar krne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar..
.
Santa- Waah , toh jisne ticket li woh Chutiye ???

Snta Pe Bijli Ki Taar Gir Gayi:
Santa Tdp Tdp k Mrne Hi Wala Tha.

Ki

Use Yad Aya,
Bijli to 2 Din Se Bnd h. Wapas uth gya or bola, ' Sala! dara diya.

Pappu ne homework pura nahi kiya
Teacher (Pappu se): tum jaanawar ho jaanawar.
Pappu: maaloom hai.
Teacher: wo kaise?
Pappu: papa mujhe ulloo ka pattha, mummy mujhe gadha, daada jee sher ka beta aur dadi bandar kahati hai.

Teacher: beta, bijli kahaan se aati hai?
Happu: Mama Jee ke yahaan se.
Teacher: Wo kaise?
Happu: jab bhi bijli jaati hai to papa bolate hain kaat dee saalon ne.

Teacher - un do kings ka naam batao jinhone duniya ke logo ko nayi raah pe chalaya.....

Santa - sir

1.SMO KING

2.DRIN KING.. . .

Phir kaya, Techer Santa ko de chhadi...chhadi....

santa ws painting his home suddenly
he got an idea 2 save money
he painted d upper part of d wall n wrote below..!

Same as above

Santa ne apne 6 month k baby ki birthday party rakhi,
.
Kisine pucha: 6month k baby ka b'day kaise?
,
Santa: hum semester system ko follow karte hai.

Santa : Oye Tu Ladki Dekh Aaya? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Se Kali Hai or Kaan Se Kam Sunti Hai.. . .

Santa : Zara English Me Bta . . .

Banta : 'BLACK-BERRY' Hai...

Santa Roz Subha 60 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
Banta- are wah Vo kaise?
Santa- Main Girls collage ka Bus Driver Hu na.

SANTA:- yaar tujhe bus me thapad kyo pada?

BANTA:- pata ni yaar,meri photo niche gir gayi thi maine kaha bahenji jara sari uppar karna photo leni hai.

Santa: jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!!to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa: Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha.

Bunty: Yaar kya koi Reportcard dekhkar bhi bhavishyavaani
kar sakata hai?
Pappu: haan, bilkul kar sakata hai.
Bunty: kaun?
Pappu: meri Maa, wo mera Reportcard dekhate hi bata deti hain ki papa ke aate
hee meri kya haalat hone wali hai.

Santa: beta college mein toone kaun-kaun se do mushkil kaam seekhe hain?
Pappu: ek to daanton se beer ki bottle kholna aur doosri fast bike mein 1 tilee
se sigaret jalana.

On his birthday, Santa received a Mercedes Benz.
He is not, however, driving.
Why..?
He doesn't want to sit in the driver's seat...!!

Aurato se Bhari bus ka Accident ho gaya.
Sari Ladies mar gayi.
Sbke pati 1-1 ghante roye
santa akela pura din Roya..
Q.??
Kyonki uski patni ki Bus Chhoot gyi thi
No jokes pls.
Aaj santa serious hai.

Santa ek jyotish ke paas kundali (horoscope) dikhaane gaya.
Jyotish: Tera naam Santa hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tujhe 3 ladki aur 2 ladka hai.
Santa : Ji Maharaj
Jyotish: Tune abhi 5 kg chini khareede hain.
Santa : Maharaj ki jai ho.
Jyotish: Bewakoof ! Kundali dikha, Ration Card nahi..