Santa: How much is my mobile bill?
Call Centre Girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know your Current bill.
Santa: Stupid! I have already paid my electricity bill. I want to know my Mobile bill and not 'Current' bill.

Santa: My wife said to me those words every man dies to hear.
Banta: What did she say?
Santa: I'm leaving you and I'm taking the kids. || jokes on santa banta ||

Pappu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Santa: I think so. What is it you want me to write?
Pappu: Your name on this report card.

Santa: I just wish my wife could look down from Heaven and see me now.
Banta: What are you talking about? She's still alive.
Santa: Exactly, that's why it is a wish!

Pappu: Ma'm, I want to go to the toilet.
Teacher: I want to hear A-Z from you before I let you go.
Pappu: ABCDEFGHIJKLMN_ _QRS_UVWX_Z!
Teacher: Where is P, O, T, Y?
Pappu: In my pant.

How to identify Students?
1: Stressed
2: Depressed
3: Well Dressed

Santa: Women are like microwaves.
Banta: How? Because they cook food?
Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health.

Santa rings the fire brigade. He says, "My house is on fire".
Officer: How do we get there?
Santa: In the big red truck.

Santa: They say, "Milk gives you strength".
Banta: That's right.
Santa: So I drank 5 glasses & still couldn't move a wall.
I tried 6 shots of vodka & saw the wall move by itself!

Santa: I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman.
Banta: What's stopping you?
Santa: But I don't feel like getting married 3 times. || jokes on santa banta ||

Santa: Yes, Officer.
Police Officer: Didn't you see the "Speed Limit" sign?
Santa: I did see the sign. I just didn't see you.

Santa: I respect blind people.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Because they judge others by their personality, not by their looks.

Santa: My wife can multi-task.
Banta: Really?
Santa: Yeah, she can take a phone call, tidy her hair and crash her car, all at the same time.

Santa: My wife's a magician.
Banta: Really?
Santa: Yep, she can turn anything into an argument.

Santa: My internet speed was very slow. I found a solution.
Banta: Tell me also. Even my net is slow.
Santa: I have installed a wallpaper of Rajinikanth. Now I am enjoying the speed of a 3G connection.

Cashier: Strip down, facing me.
The blonde quickly stripped down.
Cashier: Ma'm, Not you but your Credit Card?

Q: Why did the blonde nurse go to an art school?
A: To learn how to draw blood!

Banta: As soon as women see me, they want to get in shape to impress me.
Santa: That's really impressive. Exactly, what do they do?
Banta: They start running.

"What do you do?" Santa asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with.
Girl: I'm a nurse.
I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me," Santa whispered in her ear.
Girl: That would be miraculous. I work in the maternity ward.

Banta: Suggest some good movie?
Santa: Snakes on a plane.
Banta: What's it about?
Santa: Horses... horses on a boat.

Santa went to his dentist, "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?"
Dentist: Wear a brown tie!

Santa: You wanna come to my New Year's Eve party?
Banta: Sure, when?

Q: What do you call a woman who smiles at you when you leave the house and smiles when you come back?
A: The neighbour's wife.

Santa: It's too late in the night. You better stay over here only.
Banta: It makes sense. I better get my night-suit from my house.
Santa: Good. Come soon.

Public To Santa: Us Rowdy Ki
Vajah Se Hum Pareshaan Hai.
Use Haamare Area Se Bhagaane Ka
Koi Tareeka Bataao?
Santa: Aasaan Hai,
Use Election Mein Khadaa Karke Mla Banaa Do.
Agle 5 Saal Tak Woh
Tumhaare Area Ki Taraf Nahi Aayega.

During An External Viva In A College:
Professor: Kuch Kiya Bhi Hai,
Ya Aise Hi Aa Gagye Ho??
.
.
Student: Yes Sir, Subah Breakfast Karke Aaya Hun..