Santa: I am 96% Jesus.
Banta: You're conceited.
Santa: I can prove that.
Banta: And how?
Santa: Jesus can walk on water... I can walk on cucumbers... Cucumbers are 96% water... therefore I'm 96% Jesus.

The three most common lies on the internet:
1. I have read and agreed to the "Terms of Service".
2. Status: Offline.
3. Yes, I am over 18.

Santa: My wife said, she needed some space in her life.
Banta: So what steps are you taking?
Santa: I agreed and hung 2 "Star Wars" posters in the kitchen.

In the middle of a fight, Santa said, "Let's not quarrel, let's discuss the things sensibly.
"No," said angry Jeeto, "Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose!"

Sign of Changing Times:
Santa to Pappu: Son, Success is when Signature turns into Autograph.
Pappu:No Dad, Success is when, Signature turns into Black Label!

Santa: Wives are like police.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Once they get hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you!

Santa to barber, "How much for a haircut?"
Barber: Rs. 50/-
Santa : How much for a shave?
Barber: Rs. 25/-
Santa : Good. Shave my head.

Every wife is like "terms and conditions" of a website.
The husbands never understand or read what she says but they all always accept.

Jeeto: Why are you home so early?
Santa: My boss told me to "Go to Hell"!

Santa: I stayed up all night.
Banta: What was wrong?
Santa: I was trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

Pappu: Papa, what do I give my girlfriend as a gift?
Santa: How does she look?
Pappu: She looks very sweet and pretty.
Santa: Give her my number.

Lalu Yadav to protest in parliament for nominating 'Barfi' to Oscars, when they had 'Rabri' as a better option!

Santa: My wife is a magician.
Banta: Why?
Santa: She made my dinner disappear into a cloud of smoke. || latest new jokes santa banta ||

After looking at the cheerleaders in Sri Lanka, one really can't blame Ravana for abducting Sita.

Doctor: How is your headache now?
Santa: Oh, she is out of town.

Santa: I am fed up of my life.
Banta: Now what happened?
Santa: Everytime I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up!

HUMBLE REQUEST:
He has served us Beer when we were Sad & Happy.
Now he needs our help. Please save Mallya by adopting at least ONE Kingfisher Air Hostess!

Height of addiction:
In a college form, when asked about "PERMANENT ADDRESS", a student wrote "www.facebook.com"!

Santa: For husbands, keeping wives happy is a job of our "LEFT HAND".
Banta: So why don't men do it?
Santa: Unfortunately, 95% of men are actually "RIGHT HANDED"! || latest new jokes santa banta ||

Q: Why are Egyptian children always confused?
A: Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.

Santa was surfing on the net. He got a message, "Page 404 not found".
Santa: There's some virus in my computer.
Pappu: What happened?
Santa: But I wasn't even looking for "Page 404" and they keep showing the message about it.

Both of my marriages were disasters. My first wife left me. My second one didn't.

A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to 18 children.
The reporter didn't quite hear the message and said, "Would you repeat that?"
"Not if I can help it," replied the woman.

Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha“ Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche
Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha Us Aadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara
.
Kyon ???
,
,
Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha.